Intuit

I sit down to write 

what I think

what I feel

but there is always a block,

a haze 

I cannot quite see

Into myself 

enough to express

my true perceptions

Why is my vision blurred?

I have tried on lenses

Meditation

Prayer

Hypnosis

Psychotherapy

Each lens teases clarity

but only for a moment

Sometimes I dream the truth

but in the waking

I forget

Uncertainty plagues me

I am not confident

Some will perceive me as such

It is always an act

always

I am all too aware

so much of the time

yet oblivious too

even to important things

What an uncanny contradiction

Maybe I am the haze

Opposing ideas

that do not negate one another

but bring balance

and beauty

And maybe moments of focus

moments of wisdom, of knowing

are just moments

for me to collect and savor

Together they make up me